I have spent much of the past 5 years walking in circles around a lake. I walked through my arrival in a new city, the uncertainty of starting again. It slowly became my daily meditative act: meeting my mind, noticing the trees, greeting my favorites daily. I walked through the seasons and found space for my mind to unfurl, wonder and imagine.
The idea of a circular lunar diary came and went many times, always fueled by these walks. As a birth doula and trained acupuncturist, my life is often punctuated by the cycles and health needs of others - so envisioning a diary that acknowledges the cyclical nature of our lives even beyond the experience of pregnancy became increasingly appealing to me. After several attempts to launch this idea with others, the daily realities of life seemed to always get in the way.
Until, the solar eclipse on August 21st 2017.
I woke up that day anticipating the eclipse, only both my husband and I were in a foul mood that had been brewing for days. We had different ideas of how we would experience it and we both stood locked in our stubbornness and just tried our best not to snap at each other. Later that day, I walked my lake and tried to take in and process the eclipse, my mood, and this unbearable sense of frustrated, unsettled energy. Then it hit me: the eclipse was a cosmic representation of what this lunar diary was all about to me: the moon, in her darkest form, presenting herself in front of the Mighty Sun and literally eclipsing his power. The experience of the diminutive moon wielding her power felt like a slap in the face: wake up!
We have all been conditioned to believe that bigger, brighter, more is better, that men are stronger, that female, small, vulnerable is weak or ‘less than’, that we should be afraid of the dark, that time unfolds on a linear plane.
I disagree entirely and the moon reminded me why.
Darkness is where our power lies and the moon reminded me why.
And so I decided on that walk that if I was EVER going to bring this lunar diary into the world, I was the only person that was going to make it happen. Enough with the excuses (there were SO many). It was time to jump into the unknown, take the risk and just.do.it.
I experience so much of life as swirly cycles, most happening of their own accord (perhaps a few initiated by me) with unplanned peaks of chaos and clarity. Never has my life fit into a linear sequence of square boxes that start with the number 1. Nature does not make squares. Nature is repeating and overlapping cycles of expansion and contraction and the moon is our visual reminder of what is true for all living things: constant change.
We live in a time of ever increasing external stimulus and heightened uncertainty.
Screens everywhere, mostly in our hands.
Unending news cycles of catastrophe upon catastrophe.
Our planet in crisis, political norms crumbling.
Centuries of systemic oppression, toxic masculinity, all laid bare and screaming for witness.
The harm of whiteness.
We are in the midst of a crisis of humanity and one thing is clear: change is happening.
The question we all face: how will we participate? What do each of us have to offer the world?
It is the intent of this lunar diary to invite you into your internal world; to change and expand your relationship with time, give you space to connect to your unique felt experience within the changing cycles of our every day, month, season, year.
Space to plan, write, vision, draw, and dream.